Here I am on the eve of what would have been my oldest sons 12th birthday. He was born at 36 weeks without a heartbeat on May 30th 1998. I have wondered all these years how life would have been different. It is hard to imagine. Our daughter born just 10 months later at 31 weeks knows things about her older brother that we have never told her. Our second son is named after his older brother. It was strange at first and some of our family had a hard time with that. But today I am glad that we chose to do so.

Saturday while many are celebrating memorial day in honor of veterans across the world we will also be remembering a member of our family that most have never met. We held him, kissed him, and took a few photos. I am so glad that I did. It remains the only thing I have to prove that he existed. Being stillborn we never received a birth certificate even though he would be my only normal delivery, nor a death certificate. He was not considered alive to have died. But he was alive to me and my husband. He felt him and heard him and were anxiously awaiting him.

So on this day of Parades and parties....we will be taking a moment to remember our angel in heaven who is heavy in our hearts every day. He truly did change my life forever.

Some people only dream of angels; I held one in my arms.